Beautiful Things

Page 386 

I hopped in the car. My parents greeted me warmly.

Finally. Back where I belong.

I observed my surroundings as my parents took me home.

The traffic lights.

The cars.

The People.. real actual, civilised people.

Enjoying the air-con.
It felt like a dream come true.

I was silent.

I've been silent for all this while

I was appreciating all the little things.

Things are.. different now.

I'm different.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Been a while.

The past 3 weeks have been.. incredibly challenging for me. Or rather.. the past month.

It's been exactly a month. On this very date.

Cant believe time's passed that fast.

I feel like a completely different person.

Everyday was the same routine.

I felt..

Emotionless.

Numb.

Just like a robot.

Blending in with everyone else.

It was the only way.

I had to stop hurting/blaming myself.

Not only losing someone I really loved was taking its toll on me, feeling like I was the one at fault only made things worse. I was affected deeply. But I chose to keep it to myself. Because this.. this was something only I could handle. The courses I went through were definitely just as challenging. But I persevered and I made it. It helped me focus.. kept my mind off things for a while.

Now that I'm out…back home…

 It feels really weird.

Where do I go from here?

I'm lost again.

I can't help but wonder sometimes.

Whenever I stare at the moon at night.

Or watch the sun rise as I do my morning PT..

Could things have been different?

If I didnt say what I did?

You cross my mind each day.

Not much now, just.. glimpses. 

Memories.

Bits and pieces.

Certain moments that I remember.

But they're not clear now.

Not anymore.

And then I cut them off..

Because.. there's really no point.

I understand now.

I'm used to it.

If you have to go, then go.

Just… go.

I guess there's nothing to do now, but to focus on the beautiful side of life.

The beautiful things..

.

.

.

...

Love, Eran.

I never regretted.

Current Song Mood: Tori Kelly - Beautiful Things

I'd been afraid
I'd been away too long
Every city whispering your name

Won't ask you to wait
But darling when I get home
I'm hoping that you might still feel the same

But if you go, I think I'd understand
It's not that easy holding my hand
But you should know, that I miss you all the time
And I wish that I could tell you that we'll be alright
But I can't be where you are tonight

I only dream beautiful things about you
So waking up always seems to hurt
And I hate goodbyes
But baby I'll try to make them work
If you choose to break my heart when I return

But if you go, I think I'd understand
It's not that easy holding my hand
But you should know, that I miss you all the time
And I wish that I could tell you that we'll be alright
But I can't be where you are tonight

I can't be where you are

If you go, I think I'd understand
It's not that easy holding my hand
But you should know, that I miss you all the time
And I wish that I could tell you 
But I can't be where you are