When I Look At You

Page 320

CONGRATULATIONS ECAH!!!!

Ohmygosh it feels so surreal.. My close friend's finally became a wife. The first in our clique to get hitched. Wow. And she looked so gorgeous. I'm so happy for them both!!

Met up with Ida and Mama, and cabbed to her wedding. It was so prettyyyy. A red & black theme. And she had like, a really diverse set of drinks, it was really colourful & pretty! Sat with Gaya.K as she was sitting alone and we made ourselves comfortable. Mr B came too with his wife and children. They're so friggin cute!! And well-mannered too. :)

 Me & le pretty Riri. 

#horny 

#PotentialAirStewardess

Hahaha and it was also good to see other school friends there as well! It was so funny cause me & Ida kept exchanging judgemental facial expressions about some people lolol.  Especially when there were bad singers HAHAHA. #dying Also, Dan's speech was the best HAHAHA. He and his radio dj voice. xD Lmfao.

Took some more pics with the bridge & groom.

So pretty <3 We call that her 'Elsa dress' hahaha.

Face maintain pls omg this girl HAHAHA.

Decided to go off after taking the pictures. The weather ahhh I cannot tahan. *melting*

Went to JEM for a while with Riri then headed home cause we were too tired.

I'm so full i'm skipping dinner tonight hahaha. Gonna go get some rest now.

Once again I wish Din and Ecah a blissful marriage.

<3

This song played at the wedding brought back memories. 

Sad as it seems, it's really sweet.

Love, Eran.

I'll look at you.

Current Song Mood: Miley Cyrus - When I Look At You

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights are long

'cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

Yeah when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I, I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I, I
I look at you

When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone

Yeah when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I, I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I, I
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me
All I need
Every breath that I breathe
Don't you know you're beautiful
Yeah, yeah, yeah

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I, I
I look at you

I look at you
Yeah,
Whoa-oh,
You appear just like a dream to me

Beautiful Now

Page 319

Beautiful day. Went to RP today to catch their Momentum event. :) It was my first time!!

Met up with Lemons and cabbed there as we were rushing. But we managed to reach on time!!!

Met up with B's other friends and the show started.

I was really impressed and in awe of all the performances. The lightings were amazing!! It was so happening. 

Dharma's turn came & they were all really graceful. Seeing B dancing his most probably finale dance, and giving his all, moved me. I was honoured to be part of this. Part of this moment.

After the show ended, we went outside, found B and took picssss.

He and his phone. ._.

:)

Hi hello i'm still here.. ._.

Le squad hehe.

Hehehe. Went to Mac after that and had like.. a Filet session?? Hahaha almost everyone bought the same thing!

Make-up on fleek ^ Lolz.

I really loved hanging out with them. They're all so craycray hahaha.
Till next time dears.

<3

Love, Eran.

Baby tonight, we're beautiful now.

Current Song Mood: Zedd Ft Jon Bellion - Beautiful Now

I see what you're wearing, there's nothing beneath it
Forgive me for staring, forgive me for breathing
We might not know why, we might not know how
But baby, tonight, we're beautiful now

We're beautiful now
We're beautiful now

We might not know why, we might not know how
But baby, tonight, we're beautiful now
We'll light up the sky, we'll open the clouds
Cause baby, tonight, we're beautiful now, we're beautiful [x2]

Wherever it's going, I'm gonna chase it
What's left of this moment, I'm not gonna waste it
Stranded together, our worlds have collided
This won't be forever, so why try to fight it?

We're beautiful now
We're beautiful now

We might not know why, we might not know how
But baby, tonight, we're beautiful now
We'll light up the sky, we'll open the clouds
Cause baby, tonight, we're beautiful now, we're beautiful [x2]

Let's live tonight like fireflies
And one by one light up the sky
We disappear and pass the crown
You're beautiful, you're beautiful

We're beautiful now
We're beautiful now
We're beautiful now
We're beautiful now

We might not know why, we might not know how
But baby, tonight, we're beautiful now
We'll light up the sky, we'll open the clouds
Cause baby, tonight, we're beautiful now, we're beautiful [x2]

Smother

Page 318

Hai.

Been watching Gravity Falls the whole day. Or rather, the whole week. Yeah the cartoon about mysteries haha. But the real mystery, is the number of illuminati symbols in the whole freakin series. I mean really, a talking evil pyramid demon??? Wow. So blatant. I mean, I'm really 50/50 on these kind of things but the way this show put it, it's so obvious?? Sheesh.

Well that sums my day. Haha. I seriously need to get out and live my life.

All my friends have started working and i'm like…

...

Since no one is gonna care anyways I'll just end it here.

:D 

:D 

:D

xx

Love, Eran.

Sorry if I've smothered you.

Current Song Mood: Daughter - Smother

I’m wasted, losing time

I’m a foolish, fragile spine

I want all that is not mine

I want him but we’re not right

In the darkness I will meet my creators

And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator

I should go now quietly

For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep

Where all my layers can become reeds

All my limbs can become trees

All my children can become me

What a mess I leave

To follow [4x]

In the darkness I will meet my creators

They will all agree, I’m a suffocator

Suffocator [2x]

Oh no

I’m sorry if I smothered you [2x]

I sometimes wish I’d stayed inside my mother

Never to come out

Telephone

Page 317

Neglected.

Nothing more to say.

Guess I'll just sink in the silence.

I'll let this song speak for me tonight.

Love, Eran.

Sigh.

https://soundcloud.com/niia/telephone

Current Song Mood: NIIA - Telephone

I love it when you text me first

Love it a little too much

I've been sitting here, impatient dear

Waiting on a call from you

Said you'd call me when you got home

Well I guess you lied

Dial my number baby

Its easy to find

I'll call you right back if I'm not in time

Oh there's pleasure in pain

To you its always the same

Go on and use me, using me up

Keep playing this telephone game

Oh there's pleasure in pain

To you its always the same

Go on and use me, using me up

Keep playing this telephone game

I wait for your call

Cause my line's wide open

Makes no sense at all

You just keep me holdin

Dun dun dun dun dun dun

Yeah my line's wide open

Dun dun dun dun dun dun

You just keep me holdin

There is please in pain

To you its always the same

Go on and use me, using me up

Keep playing this telephone game

Put It Up

Page 316

Today was everything I've ever wanted. Well, not completely, but still I'm thankful. Thank you for putting up with me.

I was really happy. Though I may not show it. The way you were giving me attention. Teasing. Even though it was still annoying haha. And that was quite a session. Not sure when we'll get to spend time together once I go for my interview & start work. Hopefully we'll work it out..

Things are getting better. I want to believe that it is. Because, what you believe in, is what you'll get.

The next chapter is slowly unfolding.

Love, Eran.

Baby let me change your life.

I promise we'll be alright.

Current Song Mood: Chris Brown Ft Rihanna - Put It Up

[Rihanna:]
Baby aint no need to be scared of me
I guarantee that I'm not a mistake
I'mma give you all of my love
And I hope that you won't misplace it
You created this shit
Going insane with all of this fear
Can't turn my back on it
I'm in love gotta' face it

[Chris Brown:]
You're the only one I wanna stay on the phone with
Oh the late night Skype sex
On that young shit
Girl you keep it one hundred
Always gon' hold me down
You know you're the number one
Girl I'mma work you out

[Chris Brown & Rihanna:]
Ain't got much to say
I ain't about to make you wait
I'm just gon' take you from here
Girl let's ride away
Let's elevate, just elevate
Yeah girl let me take you for a ride

[Hook - Chris Brown & Rihanna:]
Baby let me change your life
Promise it will be alright
Baby take my hand tonight
Let me set you free now
Sweatin' like a waterbed (on me)
Keep puttin' that thang (on me)
Like you never did before
I'm gon' explore all of your body
Put it up right there, right there
Right there, right there
Put it up right there (I'm gon' explore all of your body)
Put it up right there
Put it up right there (I love, I love you)
I'm gon' explore all of your body

[Chris Brown & Rihanna:]
I'mma write my name with my tongue on your back baby
Come on, just let me
I know you're ready
And even if there is a crowd
Let 'em see it
I'mma give you some more
Just let 'em all just say what they wanna say
That's how I feel, cause I'm in love
And the temperature just heats up
When I'm with you, don't be scared
When I start to go down and I lick you
Rubbin' and kissin' and lickin' on your body
When I go down and oh I'm gon' miss you
Gonna need your body right now
Cause I know it's an issue
And I'm hyperventilating right now
I can't breathe, If I ain't with you
I need your body like right now
I need your body like right now
Lay your head, on my bed
Baby tell me if you want the lights down
Your property, treat me like I'm your property
Do what you wanna, take command
I'm about to be your biggest fan
Your property, treat me like I'm your property
Do what you wanna, take command
I'm about to be your biggest fan

[Hook]

[Chris Brown & Rihanna:]
Looking for too many places
Searching high and low for you
I'm stronger when I'm close to you
I'm seeing all familiar faces
Girl it's all about you, only you in my life
And I say, "You like playing with my heart?"
Baby, please don't do this to me
Cause I'm in love
Can I get a little bit? One more kiss?
Yeah I don't wanna miss it

[Hook]

More Than A Miracle

Page 315

So um, I know I've been an emotional wreck lately hahaha. But I can't help it okay? I have strong feelings. And I tend to keep problems to myself so this is the only way I can vent things out. Texted Mama Syah last night cause I really couldnt take it, and it did help. Thanks <3

Today was pretty chilled. Spent the Tueday at bae's and watched this Bollywood drama.. 'Devdas' HAHAHA. There was seriously so much drama, we kept laughing cause it was so stupid. XD The lead actress was really dramatic but she was really gorgeous. <3

I can't remember the last time where we had a good laugh together. 

I missed this.

I craved for it.

Though I'm still affected. 

My heart's not gonna be at peace unless you open up to me.

It's gonna take more than a miracle.

Love, Eran.

Your touch will never be the same.

Current Song Mood: MNEK - More Than A Miracle

If the mountains could be moved for you
And the ocean could be split right through
It still wouldn't be enough for you
It's true, it's true, it's true
If I told you sweet nothings every day
I'd trip up on every word I say
Once I'm closer you're still miles away
I pray at night, I pray

I pray that you come back to the one I can cling to
Wishing on a star that love will bring you
Back to where we were when I first met you
Even though we both know

That shattered glass broken on the floor
Is like my hand linking into yours
To get us back to where we were before
It's gonna take more than a miracle
Baby, your touch will never be the same
Only a higher power can stop the rain
For my blood to give any more
It's gonna take more than a miracle

For all the water could be turned to ice
You could be tired of the hands of time
There would be nothing that could change your mind
Well you're right, you're right this time

I pray that you come back to the one I can cling to
Wishing on a star that love will bring you
Back to where we were when I first met you
Even though we both know

That shattered glass broken on the floor
Is like my hand linking into yours
To get us back to where we were before
It's gonna take more than a miracle
Baby, your touch will never be the same
Only a higher power can stop the rain
For my blood to give any more
It's gonna take more than a miracle

I said I'm gonna need more, gonna need more than that
Yeah, I'm gonna need more, gonna need more than that
Yeah, I'm gonna need more, gonna need more than that
But you can't give me that, no, you can't give me that, yeah
I'm gonna need more, gonna need more than that
Yes, I'm gonna need more, gonna need more than that
I'm gonna need more, gonna need more than that
But you can't give me more than that

It's gonna take more, oh
It's gonna take more, oh
It's gonna take more, oh
It's gonna take more, oh

It's gonna take more, oh
It's gonna take more, oh
It's gonna take more, oh
It's gonna take more, oh

Tightrope

Page 314

Been quite a busy Monday.

Went to SNB in the morning all by myself. Ended up bumping into Efah and Darsh!

Me & Efah sat in the meeting room together and we had a lot of things to talk about hahaha this chou minah.

We signed our forms and got briefed about certain stuff. I somehow felt richer already hahaha. We then were released and I went back with Darsh. Had a good chat with her and in the train, she suddenly said; 'YOU CAN SING!!!' Hahaha I shock sia. But she was so motivating hahaha thanks Darsh!

Had a looong trip to school, just to return my gown. When I stepped inside the place, there were like a long line of aunties sitting, nothing to do hahaha. There were so many and I was so distracted. I totally ignored the one who was standing and ready to serve me. and went to the one sitting down. 'Aiyooo.' she muttered some things in Chinese. HAHAHA. Sorry ah aunty! I blur la. Got refunded and left. The afternoon crowd and jam was horrible as usual.

Reached causeway, decided to check out the pasar mall alone since I was a loner. Bought the nutella milkshake hehehe thanks abang! ;)

Went home to pray and have dinner, then went to meet Riri at Causeway Point. She got her LaoLao hahaha. We sat and some seats and updated each other's lives. I sure had lots to say.

We then went to Phoenix LRT to meet Ida. Her 10 minutes became 30 minutes….. TYPICAL JANJI MELAYU!!!! Tsk. Went to the Rasa Rasa food place and it was pretty good! We surprised Ecah when she & Syah came hehehe. It was a Hens Party for her actually. And me & Riri bought her a thong HAHAHA. For first night la. *winkwink*

It was so funny. And we took turns to talk about our lives. And I just had to share things that.. I've been keeping to myself for so long. And it was good to share and get some feedback. I seriously feel so lost. There are so many things to ponder about. I have no idea what's gonna happen or what I should do. No point crying over it every single night.

Took the bus home with Riri.

I'm exhausted. I need a break. I'm on a tightrope.

Love, Eran.

I can feel the difference.

Current Song Mood: Kelly Clarkson - Tightrope

I'm on the tightrope, you've got your reasons
When did it get so hard to breathe?
Hot in the spotlight, I'm feelin' so tired
Your hands are burnt from holdin' me
And maybe you and I will fall in time
Eventually
Maybe we'll both die trying
But I can't bring myself to leave
'Cause I've looked

And I ain't seen nothin' like you
The way you light up every room tonight
So easily
And I have moved mountains, babe
Just to stumble into your good grace
And I, I still can't compete

You're on the tightrope, I've got my reasons
How did we get so tangled?
You turn, I stay straight, I bend as you break
We're so messed up, but I know
That you and I will fall in time, eventually
Or maybe we'll both die trying

'Cause I ain't seen nothin' like you
The way you light up every room tonight
So easily
And I have moved mountains, babe
Just to stumble into your good grace
And I, I still can't compete

Oh, you and I will fall in time eventually
Or maybe we'll both die trying

And I ain't seen nothin' like you
The way you light up every room tonight
So easily
And I have moved mountains, babe
Just to stumble into your good grace
And I, I still can't compete

Mirror Mirror

Page 313

I stared hard in the mirror.

So many flaws.

So many things I don't like about myself.

If only I was born naturally good-looking.

Would people like me more?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Breathe in, breathe out.

It's gonna be okay.

It's okay to breakdown once in a while and cry out about your insecurities.

Things happen for a reason.

Everything will be okay, remember that.

I'll be who I'm meant to be.

Love, Eran.

We're gonna be okay.

<3

I don't have to run anymore.

Current Song Mood: Marina Kaye - Mirror Mirror

I hold it in

To turn it up

Until it gets deafening

My tears can fall 

Like diamond rain

Nothing's gonna be the same

I might be restless

I could be wild

I might be torn inside

I could be cold

But Im burning for a new life

Mirror mirror on the wall

I'm falling to the other side

A thousand pieces on the floor

So I can chase the fireflies

I face the pain

It's beautiful

I don't have to run anymore

I don't have to run anymore

I scream it out

No one can hear

Release the demons inside of me

Break through the ice

Scars on my sleeve

Nothing's gonna be the same

I might be restless

I could be wild

I might be torn inside

I could be cold

But Im burning for a new life

Mirror mirror on the wall

I'm falling to the other side

A thousand pieces on the floor

So I can chase the fireflies

I face the pain

It's beautiful

I don't have to run anymore

I don't have to run anymore

Catch me now

I'mma run away

I'll be who I'm meant to be

Im invisible

Now I can see

I'll be who I'm meant to be

I'll be who I'm meant to be

Mirror mirror on the wall

I'm falling to the other side

A thousand pieces on the floor

So I can chase the fireflies

I face the pain

It's beautiful

I don't have to run anymore

I don't have to run anymore