Story Of My Life

Page 23

The year is finally coming to an end. 2013 has been such a roller coaster ride. There were ups and downs. I had my best moments, and I also had my lowest moments. But overall, I feel like I've lived it to the fullest. I've experienced and grown so much over the past year.

Some of my worst moments: 

Loving someone who doesn't love you back.
Not being in the same class as someone I liked back then.
My attachment in SGH. The CI drove me nuts and made me feel so demoralised.
Getting worked up over school events as an Exco member.
Getting treated like shit by someone I cared about.
Going through my first heartbreak. The one that makes your heart beat fast and you hyperventilate and so many shit goes through your mind. Didn't feel like doing anything for 2 weeks. Totally wasted my holidays. Damn. Didn't know what heartbreak was until I experienced it.

My best moments: 

Turning 18. It's an important milestone for me. Yes, it's a great big deal and it made me realise: I'm not gonna be young forever. I'm not gonna be 18 forever. So I have to live it to the fullest.

I fell in love again (Told myself I was never going to because of some things that happened in secondary school) with someone unexpected. That was in March haha. Someone whose appearance was different than personality. I fell in love with the personality.

I've went to 2 overseas trip - Philippines in March and China in September.

During Manila, It was my first time taking a plane (Yes believe it or not lol)
My first time in a hotel, living on my own.
My first time taking a jeepney there.
My first time in a swimming pool - I was THROWN inside LOL. Could've died but then I got saved and carried around like a baby xD.
Went on my first shopping spree ;) Shopped till I dropped.
Performed for the FIRST TIME on stage!! It was so impromptu and I was so nervous.

Okay back to Singapore: Went night cycling for the first time during my Exco chalet! Seriously #YOLOed the shit out of that night I swear I escaped death lots of times. ._. At least my cycling has improved.

Getting into the Exco was an unbelievable moment. I've never seen myself as a leader.

I've performed a total 3 times this year!! Like I've mentioned, the first one was in Manila. Sang 'Grenade' and I was so nervous because it was impromptu. My hands literally shook and I couldn't stay still haha. But the experience was priceless. :') It motivated me to be more daring and continue performing.

My second performance was during HS Day! Sang 'Stay' and this time I was more prepared for it. Chose the song because it was easy to sing but I was still unexperienced and rehearsals sucked for me. And also it was during the fasting period, so my voice was dry and I couldn't hit the notes. Really was on the verge of backing out.. But on the day itself, I saw familiar faces in the crowd and I wasn't that scared.. and gave it my all. :) And I did it.

^

My 3rd performance was my best. That was in China. Sang a duet with Ida. 'Made in China (USA)'. Lol! I was more confident this time and it felt amazing on stage. I remembered people coming up to me and shaking my hand and telling me how great I sounded. It motivates me so much. :') What an experience. Had so much fun.

In school, I got… my first counselling form LOL. Me? Counselling? And for what? Only late for one lesson lol. LATE. LOLOL. It's ridiculous.

My close cousin had her wedding in June. It was emotional watching her get all pretty and getting married - knowing how far she has come. So proud of her.

Meeting with wonderful people over Twitter haha. PrismHeaux! Love you all.

Been on a 'date'. And feeling like the luckiest person ever..
Getting my first kiss and.. ;)

Throughout my 2013 I've made lots of friends from overseas trips, Exco, attachments and even through Twitter. I've lived and I've loved and I feel so blessed. I've survived over-stressful situations. I feel like every challenging obstacle I face, I come out stronger at the end of it. Here's to a wonderful new year. I'm ready to start over. Bring it on, 2014. Happy New Year's Eve!

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: One Direction - Story Of My Life

Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain

I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days

She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones

It seems to me that when I die these words will be written on my stone

And I'll be gone gone tonight

The ground beneath my feet is open wide

The way that I been holdin' on too tight

With nothing in between

The story of my life I take her home

I drive all night to keep her warm and time

Is frozen (the story of, the story of)

The story of my life I give her hope

I spend her love until she's broke inside

The story of my life (the story of, the story of)

Written on these walls are the colors that I can't change

Leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage

I know that in the morning

I'll see us in the light upon your ear

Although I am broken, my heart is untamed still

And I'll be gone gone tonight

The fire beneath my feet is burning bright

The way that I been holdin' on so tight

With nothing in between

The story of my life I take her home

I drive all night to keep her warm and time

Is frozen (the story of, the story of)

The story of my life I give her hope

I spend her love until she's broke inside

The story of my life (the story of, the story of)

And I've been waiting for this time to come around

But baby running after you is like chasing the clouds

The story of my life I take her home

I drive all night to keep her warm and time

Is frozen

The story of my life I give her hope (give her hope)

I spend her love until she's broke inside (until she's broke inside)

The story of my life (the story of, the story of)

The story of my life

The story of my life (the story of, the story of)

The story is my life

Wrong Man For The Job

Page 22

* Big sigh*

Hey. Yeah you. Its been 2 weeks since we talked. Its been a month since we last met. I tried so hard to keep things going but.. I guess it didn't work out. It's just been a depressing December. Really. You keep ignoring me so.. I've lost interest. I don't see the point anymore. I feel like a fool for waiting for nothing.  You want it this way right? So I'll respect that. I don't know what went wrong, and I probably never will. It's a shame.. I really liked you. I was always here, with my arms wide open, ready to give my love. But I guess you don't need me anymore huh? Heh. Yeah. Guess I was just another dick to play with. That's alright. It doesn't matter anymore. Because.. I'm done. I'm not waiting for you anymore. I'm moving on. I have to. In order to stay sane. I need to address and end this before the new year starts. It's been fun while it lasted. Thank you SO much for all the happy memories. I will treasure them dearly. I needed a closure.. so I guess this is it. Oh and my jacket? It means a lot to me. But I guess you can keep it. You'll always.. be someone special to me. Good luck in school and whatever you're doing. Remember these words: Stay Strong. <3

Love, Eran. <3

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Wrong Man For The Job

You're the wrong man for the job

Hmmmmm

Verse 1:

I thought that you were the best part of me

Baby, I guess that we just believe what we wanna believe

I thought I knew you so well

I couldnt tell

that this was sinking so deep

I see it now

I'm breathing now

Its time for me (for me) to let go

CHORUS:

It was cool when it started but now the flame is gone

Your the wrong man for the job

My heart is breaking in pieces, but still I'm moving on

Your the wrong man for the job

I can't believe it took me so long to realize

Finally knows what it feels like (wrong man for the job)

I started moving but I wont be afraid

I'm sorry to say

Your the wrong man for the job

Ohh ohh

Verse 2:

Sometimes I wish I could take back everything

I'd be easier tonever have known you

I would spare myself so much pain

But still I can't stop thinkin bout what I'm do without

You in the lonely nights

But now I know what I gotta do

I can't ever change you

I'm letting it go tonight

Hey!

It was cool when it started but now the flame is gone

Your the wrong man for the job

My heart is breaking in pieces, but still I'm moving on

Your the wrong man for the job

I can't believe it took me so long to realize

Finally knows what it feels like (wrong man for the job)

I started moving but I wont be afraid

I'm sorry to say

Your the wrong man for the job

Breakdown:

I'm looking for somebody to love the way I should be loved

I need someone to do more for me than you have ever done

I love you but you're not the one

It was cool when it started but now the flame is gone

Your the wrong man for the job

My heart is breaking in pieces, but still I'm moving on

Your the wrong man for the job

I can't believe it took me so long to realize

Finally knows what it feels like (wrong man for the job)

I started moving but I wont be afraid

I'm sorry to say

Your the wrong man for the job

Heyeyy

Your the wrong man for the job (x2)

Say Something.. I'm Giving Up On You // Boy Without A Heart

Page 21

Went to Grandma's house today to see her and chillax a bit. Also met up with my little cousins! They are growing up so fast haha. Man, time flies. Right now.. I'm just gonna take my time to learn and grow.  Experience new things. Be nicer to people. Haha, guess that shall be my New Year resolution. And just.. be happy. :) Going out with my friends tomorrow! Haha. Finally gonna do some shopping! ;)

Also.. i'm preparing to end something. I've hesitated long enough. It's time. 

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood #1: A Great Big World Ft Christina Aguilera - Say Something

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Anywhere, I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye

Current Song Mood #2: JoJo - Boy Without A Heart

I love a boy without a heart.

I'm but a string on his guitar.

He would never know that I'm in pain,

Waiting for a song that he can't play.

I was confident the night we met,

The moment was so strong.

Like a piece of bubblegum,

Sweet at first but it don't last that long.

Now I'm filled with insecurities,

It's time to spit you out.

'Cause you, you'll never change,

The games that you play,

It's just who you are.

And I, have to believe,

It's you and not me,

The boy without a heart.

Yaaaaaayyyyaaaayyy

I love a boy who doesn't feel.

Believes what he says until it's real.

All that I want, you can be,

But you can not pretend that long for me.

I was beautiful the day we met,

But now I'm not so sure.

Awkward and alone you,

You don't make me feel sexy anymore.

I'm snapping myself out of it,

I gotta close this door.

'Cause you, you'll never change,

The games that you play,

It's just who you are (just who you are).

And I, have to believe,

It's you and not me,

The boy without a, the boy without a,

The boy without a heart.

Oooooooo

I just like to think that I,

Deserve a nice respectable guy.

So why am I here at your door, at your door.

If I was sane, I'd take my crazy behind,

And get back in my BMW,

'Cause I'm a self-made woman,

And someones gunna treat me better than you do (ha).

I just need to, I just need to calm down.

'Cause you, you'll never change,

The games that you play (the games that you play),

It's just who you are (just who you are).

And I, have to believe (And I I ....believe),

It's you and not me (It's you and not me),

The boy without a heart (the boy without a, the boy without a heart).

'Cause you, you'll never change,

The games that you play (Oooooo....you'll never change),

It's just who you are (just who you are).

And I, have to believe (I just have to believe for my sanity),

It's you and not me (Oooo),

The boy without a heart (the boy without a, the boy without a hmmm).

Wrecking Ball

Page 20

A day without any worries. Been a while since I've felt this carefree. One more week of break before school starts. I just... I want to spend the remaining days of 2013 being happy. :) Really wanna go out shopping! SALES PLEASE. Still haven't been to JEM haha… Though I don't even know if I wanna step into Jurong again. Too much.. memories.

Sometimes things don't turn out the way you plan it to be. But everything happens for a reason.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball

We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain

We jumped, never asking why

We kissed, I fell under your spell

A love no one could deny

Don't you ever say I just walked away

I will always want you

I can't live a lie, running for my life

I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball

I never hit so hard in love

All I wanted was to break your walls

All you ever did was break me

Yeah, you wreck me

I put you high up in the sky

And now, you're not coming down

It slowly turned, you let me burn

And now, we're ashes on the ground

Don't you ever say I just walked away

I will always want you

I can't live a lie, running for my life

I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball

I never hit so hard in love

All I wanted was to break your walls

All you ever did was break me

I came in like a wrecking ball

Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung

Left me crouching in a blaze and fall

All you ever did was break me

Yeah, you wreck me

I never meant to start a war

I just wanted you to let me in

And instead of using force

I guess I should've let you in

I never meant to start a war

I just wanted you to let me in

I guess I should've let you in

Don't you ever say I just walked away

I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball

I never hit so hard in love

All I wanted was to break your walls

All you ever did was break me

I came in like a wrecking ball

Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung

Left me crouching in a blaze and fall

All you ever did was break me

Yeah, you, you wreck me

Yeah, you, you wreck me

Disaster

Page 19

Just ended my attachment today. It was good.. at least it was something that helped to keep my mind off things for the past 2 weeks. I've seen a lot of things there. I've also made new bonds with kids that I will never forget.. My heart goes out to those innocent kids who had to go through child abuse. It really pains my heart to see them in such a frightened state. Sigh. Parents have a big part to play. It's such a sad situation to be in for a child. Well I'm glad that I got to experience all this. Looking forward to my next posting.

Things are falling into place right now. I really counted my blessings today and I am so ever grateful. Praises to Allah. My life is becoming more meaningful now… :)

Love, Eran.

And you? I'm done waiting.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Disaster

I'm trying not to pretend that it wont happen again, and again like that

Never thought it would end, cuz you got up in my head, in my head like that

You made me happy baby, love is crazy, so amazing

But it's changing, rearranging

I don't think I can take anymore

Cuz the walls burned up and our love fell down

And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never

Feel the fire cuz it's all around and it's burning

For forever and always

We gotta let it go, be on our way

Live for another day, cuz it ain't the same, my baby

Watch it all fallin to the ground

No happy ever after, just disaster

I didn't want it this way, I only wanted to say

I loved you right

But now you walkin away, and leavin me here to stay

So foolish of me to wait for you to realize

All the things I gave you, made you, changed you

Your dreams came true

When I met you, now forget you

Don't want anymore

Cuz the walls burned up and our love fell down

And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never

Feel the fire cuz it's all around and it's burning

For forever and always

We gotta let it go, be on our way

Live for another day, cuz it ain't the same, my baby

Watch it all fallin to the ground

No happy ever after, just disaster

You shot the bullet , you shot the bullet that killed me

Not feeling my heart beat, and I was dyin

I I've been through it, I I've been through the agony

And now my eyes are, dryin, tryin, no more cryin,

Like it's just a game,

So disaster strikes and I'm all right

Cuz my loves on his way

Yeah

Burning up forever and always (always)

yeah yeah yeaa

Cuz the walls burned up and our love fell down

And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never

Feel the fire cuz it's all around and it's burning

For forever and always

We gotta let it go, be on our way

Live for another day, cuz it ain't the same, my baby

Watch it all fallin to the ground

No happy ever after, just disaster

Cuz the walls burned up and our love fell down

And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never

Feel the fire cuz it's all around and it's burning

For forever and always

We gotta let it go, be on our way

Live for another day, cuz it ain't the same, my baby

Watch it all fallin to the ground

No happy ever after, just disaster

Just disaster

Oh whoa! Burnin up forever and always

Always, yeah

O Holy Night

Page 18

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Glee - O Holy Night

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine

Pieces Dont Fit Anymore

Page 17

It's Christmas tomorrow so I get a day off from work. Guess I'll catch up on things I've missed out the past few weeks..

Today Gf asked me an important question: 'How are you feeling?'. I don't know how to answer that. I don't know what to feel anymore.

Love, Eran.

James Morrison - The Pieces Dont Fit Anymore

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small

I've been drawing the line and watching it fall

You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart

Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart

Well, I can't explain why it's not enough

'Cause I gave it all to you

And if you leave me now, oh, just leave me now

It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender

It's been too long pretending, there's no use in trying

When the pieces don't fit anymore

Pieces don't fit here anymore

You pulled me under if I had to give in

Such a beautiful myth that's breaking my skin

Well, I'll hide all the bruises, I'll hide all the damage that's done

But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Well, I can't explain why it's not enough

'Cause I gave it all to you

And if you leave me now, oh, just leave me now

It's the better thing to do

Well, it's time to surrender

It's been to long pretending, there's no use in trying

When the pieces don't fit anymore

Pieces don't fit here anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel

'Cause I've tried, yes I've tried

But still I don't know why, no I don't know why

I don't know why

Why I can't explain why it's not enough

I gave it all to you

And if you leave me now, just leave me now

It's the better thing to do

Well, it's time to surrender

It's been to long pretending, there's no use in trying

When the pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit here anymore

The pieces don't fit anymore

Limbo

Page 16

Back for a bit to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my most biggest inspiration ever, Joanna Levesque (JoJo). It's because of her that inspires me to chase after my dreams of being a recording artist one day. Her never-ending battle with her label is what makes her the strongest, realest person out there. The way she talks and sings about being in limbo.. I relate to it so much in my life. I aspire to be like her. When she gets freed (next year HOPEFULLY), she's gonna make the strongest comeback ever. I believe in her.

Also wanna congratulate Alex and Sierra for their win on X Factor :') They deserved it!! This season of X Factor has been such a memorable one. For reasons that.. I cant explain. It just has been an important symbolic show for me.

Such an amazing couple. I wish to be in such a relationship one day. :') And the song they sang, Say Something.. It really means a lot at this point of my life.

I'm hurt. I really am. But I have to be strong. I have work to concentrate on. I can't afford to lose myself.. Not right now. This next song is one of Jo's greatest songs ever sang. I play it when I am at my lowest points in life. Vocally and Lyrically, it's one of the soundtracks of my life.

Love, Eran.

Couldnt find the real version because its copyrighted but here's the demo. Just as good!

Current Song Mood: Jessica Ashley - Limbo (JoJo Demo)

Where am I? Need to get out

Who am I? Figure it out

Trapped inside my own shell

My mind holding me down

Question what's this about

Not feeling like myself

Not feeling like myself

What's real keeps shifting

Can't feel the ground beneath me

I'm hanging on the edge

And I'm afraid to hold on

Afraid to let go

Too scared to venture into the unknown

My heart says move on

I'm ready to run

I'm waiting for courage

Cause I'm stuck in limbo limbo limbo

Cause I'm stuck in limbo limbo

And I ain't trying to be stuck no more!

It's time to take a chance

Right now no turning back

Forget my fear of failing

What's worth risking my life

It's my choice to try to fly

And I choose to break free

And I choose to break free though

What's real keeps shifting

Can't feel the ground beneath me

I'm hanging on the edge

And I'm afraid to hold on

Afraid to let go

Too scared to venture to the unknown

My heart says move on

I'm ready to run

Waving for courage

I'm stuck in limbo, limbo, limbo

I'm stuck in limbo, limbo

And I ain't trying to be stuck no more!

No oh whoa

I wanna run, run, run, run

Wanna run to freedom

Trying to find the strength with in me

Me... And I'm

And I'm afraid to hold on

Afraid to let go

Too scared to venture into the unknown

My heart says move on

And I'm ready to run

I'm waiting for courage

I'm stuck in limbo, limbo, limbo

I'm stuck in limbo, limbo, limbo

Limbo, limbo, limbo

I'm stuck in limbo, limbo

And I ain't trying to be stuck no more!

No more, no more, no more

No more, no more, no more, no more

I'm stuck in limbo