Leave Your Lover // Not In That Way

Page 176

My Mum and bro went for a 2-days holiday at Malaysia and I was getting worried because of all the recent events that's happened there. (The floods, the missing plane). And I even had a bad dream this morning: My Mum was crying in it. Like she was disappointed at something. Disappointed at me. And I started feeling guilty all day ._. Cause well… I haven't exactly been a good boy. Haha.

Well fast forward to 10.30pm when I reached home, there she was, waiting for me. And man, was I glad to see her again. I missed her. I didnt realise I missed her that much. ._. And her cooking. Lmao. Dad's been trying. But seriously. #HeTried. HAHA.

Appreciate your loved ones...

 :)

My heart goes out to those affected by the AirAsia flight.

<3

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Today was a sucky day at work. SUCKY SUCKY SUCKY. I wanna suck something. But seriously I hated today. Felt so demoralised.

Anyways.

It was my babe, Fad's last day. This girl is such a joy to work with!! I'd sing in the ward sometimes HAHA. And she'd be around to laugh at me x) Her laugh is contagious I swear. And we clicked right away! (: I was reading through my cases, and felt someone slip her hand in my pocket. I looked down to find this.

Aww I was really upset that it was her last day. She really was the best. Like.. seriously. One of the best people I've ever met. So positive-thinking! I LOVE that kind of people. Me and a few other staff went to have a photo sesh. HAHA. And I was like.. teaching the selfie skillz, yo.

Sylvia was so into my eyelashes HAHA. She was like 'OMG' when she saw this pic I posted a few days ago:

Pouting lesson 101. She tried.. .LMAO.

No it's like this babe!!

That's riiight. ;)

RAAAWRGH.

This pic was nice but she had to ruin it LOL.

I'll miss you!!!

Well I missed out on something important while working lol. This note that I didnt see. And I read it during the time that I was feeling down. My mood was instantly lifted again. :')

:')

The best part: It had a Victoria's Secret perfume smell!! HAHA. Sneaky girl must have sprayed on it.

Will keep this reminder throughout the next few months. I'll need it.

Thank you. <3

Also, my kukubandungs.

HAHA omg so cute.

Love you guys so much.

Love, Eran.

Leave your lover. Leave him for me.

Current Song Mood: Sam Smith - Leave Your Lover

I don't have much to give, but I don't care for gold
What use is money, when you need someone to hold?
Don't have direction, I'm just rolling down this road
Waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold

You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain,
Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name

Pack up and leave everything,
Don't you see what I can bring
Can't keep this beating heart at bay
Set my midnight sorrow free,
I will give you all of me
Just leave your lover, leave him for me.
Leave your lover, leave him for me.

We sit in bars and raise our drinks to growing old
Oh, I'm in love with you and you will never know,
But if I can't have you I'll walk this life alone
Spare you the rising storms and let the rivers flow

You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain
Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name

Pack up and leave everything,
Don't you see what I can bring
Can't keep this beating heart at bay
Set my midnight sorrow free,
I will give you all of me
Just leave your lover, leave him for me
Leave your lover, leave him for me.
Leave your lover, leave him for me.

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The previous song, and this next song, is about an individual that I really liked (no shit right? lol).

But there was something about you. That I just… liked.

You were different. You were matured (at least I thought so) in your thoughts. You were independent. Didnt depend on anybody. Didnt give a shit. (Well that's different now that you've got someone.)

I bought you what you wanted. Took the pain of going all the way.. just so you could be happy. We met up twice in June. I was so into you. When I dropped by your place, I wanted to do.. things. But I felt the need to just take it slow. A few weeks later I confessed. And you said.. 'Keep your options wide.'

How could I keep my options wide, when you were my only option?

That's the only thought that kept running throughout my mind.

At a point of time, you kept complaining about all the 'toxic' around you. When you yourself didnt realise, that maybe you have turned toxic yourself. I realised how a pessimist you were at times. You were so bitter...

You know, you never did say you loved me back. Never. And I realised that. I realised that, it was a one-sided thing. And I was so used to that. So when you told me you were seeing someone, I wasn't surprise. Still, I was shattered. Broken again. But I moved on fast..

N, you were special to me. You still are. 

You told me I was special to you…

That you'd never wanted to lose someone like me.

And then I knew.

I knew what that meant.

 I guess we're just better off as friends huh?

Right? ..  Right.

:)

Now, I'm so happy for you.

And your newfound lover.

I learned to be independent because of you. 

I learned to love myself first.

So thank you.

<3

Love, Eran.

You will never know.

I'm certain.

 I know what you'd say.

You'd say I'm sorry, believe me, I love you. But not in that way...

Current Song Mood: Sam Smith - Not In That Way

And I hate to say I love you
When it's so hard for me
And I hate to say I want you
When you make it so clear
You don't want me

I'd never ask you cause deep down
I'm certain I know what you'd say
You'd say I'm sorry believe me
I love you but not in that way

And I hate to say I need you
I'm so reliant
I'm so dependant
I'm such a fool

When you're not there
I find myself singing the blues
Can't bear
Can't face the truth

You will never know that feeling
You will never see through these eyes

I'd never ask you
Cause deep down I'm certain I know what you'd say
You'd say I'm sorry
Believe me
I love you
But not in that way

You'd say I'm sorry
Believe me
I love you
But not in that way